A mouse 'tail'

Last night, I had to give Papa O some devastating news, I knew it would shock and upset him in equal measure but it had to be done.  I phoned him (because I was too much of a baby to tell him to his face) asked him if he was sat down (he wasnt, he was in fact, getting ready to go out for a curry) and broke it to him as gently as I could:

"Look right, there's no easy way to say this, and it turns out you were indeed right, but Wayne (aptly named by Boo) the shed mouse has eaten your Guinness hat"

To add further insult to injury, he has also used it as a bed....... Dad has two loves in life Guinness and North End (I'm sure his wife and kids rank somewhere too!)

Now, the 'Wayne Saga' started maybe a month or two ago, I went to dads all excited about our resident mouse, after all, I'd never had one in the shed and it had made a little bed in the bureau, and dad started on about how it has to go, how it'll eat everything blah, blah, blah....  

I started on about, as far as I'm (was) concerned it wasn't going anywhere it wasn't doing any harm, and besides it was freezing whether outside and you wouldn't expect a dog to live out in it, how can you expect a tiny creature like a mouse.

Dad then started on about how he would lay mouse traps.....

Me:  ER NO!!!!!! Its a poor tiny creature and besides if you kill it, then god wont be happy (he's irish catholic, the god card often wins)

I pulled out the old animal rights card too and I think at one point he just got sick of listening to me and so, 

Wayne stayed...........until now.

Amongst some 'feckin eejits' I distinctly heard a few threats that have now been placed on the mouses head, threats of cheese and traps, so Wayne mate, you might be wise to keep your head down and find a new landlord.....

Of all the things to eat.......